the Jack of all cars

I think I'll only really do this once: write a car review.

I have been taking our car to Nissan for the past 3 oil changes or so, just because my work schedule is flexier than Herm's and I can take the car in during the day, avoiding the weekend rush. sometimes I worry they tack on unnecessary maintenance and charges because I look both young and female. and they would be right, I know so very little about cars.

today our car needed a lot of different things: the AC belt (7), brake fluids (3), pollen and air filters (2). the bracket is the number of years the last change lasted us. somehow all the needs converged on this day (or i forgot to take the "sucker" sign off my head) and because not all parts were in shop, they offered to let me go home in a rental.

the only thing available was a Ford Focus.

have you met people who seem modest and normal, but when they speak or act they underperform disappointingly and compensates by overplaying something they're proud of? in car form, he/she would be FORD FOCUS. I tried to drive home in the wet snow when it decided it was best to lock me in first gear so despite others cutting in front and beside me, I couldn't do anything but to wobble and slide in a very glamorous 20km/h. embarrassing/maddening. no way to override. also for a car with that name, it has a very distracting dashboard. who would need a glowing phone number pad (complete with abc def ghi letters) and two separate thumb console on the steering wheel to control two separate extraneous functions in detail? while driving? can they instead have installed a wiper in the back, so ice won't freeze and refreeze over the crucial, life-preserving rear view??

tomorrow we will get versa back, in exchange for figurative arms and legs. I never knew our car was so adequate. when the rubber hits the road, hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more no more no more. you - ha - drive me nuts.